Ang sulat.......
Minamahal kong anak,
Medyo mabagal akong mag type ngayon dahil alam kong mabagal kang magbasa.
Nandito na kami sa probinsya para tirahan ang bagong bili na bahay. Pero hindi ko maibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating nakatira ang number para daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng address.
Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila. Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw noong pangalawa.
Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad nung nabili ko na shampoo, ayaw bumula. Nakasulat FOR DRY HAIR kaya hindi ko binabasaang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa tindahan at magrereklamo ako.
Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ng padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay YALE, eh aba namalat na ako sa kasisigaw ay hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng YALE, wise yata ito!
Mayroon nga pala akong nabili na magandang jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo sa dahil medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang mga botones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga botones at inilagay ko na lang sa bulsa ng jacket. Ikabit mo na lang pag dating diyan.
Nagpadala rin ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto ko na maging anonymous donor.
Ang kapatid mo palang si Jhun ay may trabaho na dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao na under sa kanya. Nag-gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa memorial park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang sahod.
Nakapanganak na rin pala ang ate baby mo, hindi ko pa alam kung babae o lalake kaya hindi ko pa masasabi na kung ikaw ay bagong uncle or auntie.
sa pa nga pala, babalik ako diyan sa Oktubre pero naguguluhan ako. Di ba yung Victory Liner, BLTB Liner, Pascual Liner at Alfonso Liner ay mga pampasaherong bus. Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba yun? Saan ba ang Terminal nila?
At saka nga pala, me nag-interview sa akin diyan at nakalimutan kong banggitin sa iyo taga Magandang Umaga Bayan daw siya at nakunan ako sa TV ang tanong sa akin ay ano raw sa salitang english ang Kulangot.Di ko nasagot... ikaw anak, alam mo?
Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas ha.
Love,
Tatay
P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay naisara ko na ang envelope. Next time na lang ha.
Natagpuan Na!
Pagkatapos ng isang bilyong taon...
Natagpuan din ang prutas na
kinain ni Eba na naging sanhi ng
pagkakaalis nila sa paraiso...
(in fairness mukha syang sayote.. L )
Kayo na lang ang humusga
kung bakit niya ito nagustuhan..
Funny Pics
•Why you should never put your picture on the internet
• The last one is always best
• Only Four Parachutes
Delayed ng Isang Buwan
Pag dating ni Munir sa bahay, sabi ni Ei, ang asawa nya, "Sweetheart, delayed ako ng isang buwan. Kagagaling ko lang sa doktor. Pero huwag mong sabihin kahit kanino, kung hindi mapapahiya lang ako kapag di nagkatotoo."
Kinaumagahan, merong dumating na taga-Meralco. Pagbukas ng pinto, sabi niya, "Ale, delayed ho kayo ng isang buwan."
"Kanino mo nalaman ito?" tanong ni Ei.
"Nandito ho nakasulat sa records namin," sagot ng taga-Meralco.
"Talaga? Nakasulat sa records ninyo?"
Sa sumunod na araw, si Munir ay dumating galit na galit sa counter ng Meralco.
"Paano niyo nalaman na delayed ng isang buwan ang misis ko?
"Konting pasensya lang. Kung gusto niyong mawala sa records namin ito, magbayad na lang kayo," sagot ng isang empleyado.
"Eh, kung ayaw kong magbayad?" tanong ni Munir.
"Puputulan ho kayo," sagot ng empleyado.
"Kung puputulan ako, anong gagamitin ng misis ko?"
"Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila, di ba?"
masamang balita
KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....
"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa
bahay-bakasyunan niyo."
"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?
"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong
parrot."
"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?
"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."
"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay,
buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"
"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."
"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng
bulok na karne?"
"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."
"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"
"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat
sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."
"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"
"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"
"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang
nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat
ang apoy...."
"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para
saan 'yung kandila?"
"Para sa burol po."
"Ano? Kaninong burol?
"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi,
walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos
Host: Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Contestant : Amangpulo.
###########
Host : What was the very first gift that you gave to your
girlfriend?
Male Contestant : Uhmm...taptoy.
Host: What taptoy?
Male Contestant : Taptoy na teddy bird.
############
Host: What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl:Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....
Host:Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl:Uhmm. more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less,less....
############
Host:If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to
showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant:Bocaue.
Host: Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Phils? Why Bocaue?
Girl: Because it's a magnificent place.
Host: Which part of Bocaue?
Girl:The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banaue Kaya Yon!!)
############
The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, "Hi!
I'm Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo.," and then she turns around, walks a little,
goes back then yells at the top of her lungs! Then shouts,
"CITYYYYYYYY!!!!"
############
(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host: Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?
Girl: Maging lalaki po!
############
Host: Who's your favorite author?
Contestant: Danielle Steele
Host: Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant: Because, because.Danielle Steele, I like best.
############
Host: How would you like me to address you?
Contestant: My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
############
Host: What is your best feature?
Contestant: My graduation feature.
############
Host: So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant: Me, join this contest, why did I????? Thank you!
############
Host: What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant: I want to be a successful Medicine.
############
Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
############
Host: What is you favorite motto?
Contestant: If others can't why, why can't I!
############
Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant: Please come back.
############
(From gay beauty contest)
Host: What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant: (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
############
Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
############
(From gay contest)
Host: Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading......ano nga
po ulit yung question?
############
Host: Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!
############
Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd
starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is
gold!")
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
############
Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant: That's a very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)
############
Host: So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that na nga?
KALABASH?
############
Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl: Hulk Hogan.
############
Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant: Uhmm... a bumble bee!
############
Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
############
Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
############
Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28 years old.
############
Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
############
Host : If you were given any special power, what would it
be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!
############
Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : What works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam eh, depende.....
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na sya eh.
############
Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
############
Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to
the eye!
############
Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
############
Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!
############
Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here?
Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?
Wholesome Jokes
•Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos
•masamang balita
• Ang sulat.......
• Tawa muna...
• Joke time!!!
•Friday Laughter Collection
•Famous Lines !!!!
•Alamat ng kasinungalingan
CREATIVE PINOY MEALS
Totoo yan! Nasa baba yung picture nung lugar . . .
Pinoys Favorite Food:
THIS WAS POSTED IN ONE RESTAURANT NEAR NAIA AIRPORT,
so, maybe next time you are around the area, you may
as well dine-in there, and check out their menu; AS
YOU GO ON, IT'S BECOMING INTERESTING AND MORE
FLAVORFUL!!! (this is based on true facts...)
1. TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog
2. LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog
3. HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog
4. PORKSILOG - Pork, Sinangag, Itlog
5. CHICKSILOG - Chicken, Sinangag Itlog
6. AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso
7. LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog
8. PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog
9. KALOG - Kanin, Itlog
10. PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog
11. MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog
12. BAHAW - Bakang Inihaw (akala ninyo kaning lamig ano)
13. KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw
14. HIMAS - Hipon Malasado
15. HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso
16. HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpekan
17. PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpekan, Monggo,
Malasado, Laing, Kilawin
18. DILA - Dinuguan, Laing
19. DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo
20. BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape
21. BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape,Molong Pancit
22. KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong
23. KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
24. SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
25. SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,Tortang Talong,
Pancit - Take out
26. SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin,Tortang Talong, Pancit,
Halo-halo
27. SIGE KANTOT PAIBAON MO PAPA! - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang
Talong, Pancit... Take out with Ketchup
28. PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong
29. PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong
30. PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kapeng Barako
31. PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,Saging + Yosi
32. PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,Kape
33. PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong,
Kape, Inihaw na Bangus,
Maruya,Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit
34. SUBO! - Sugpo, Bopis
35. SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo
36. SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit
37. SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige
38. SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki,Kochinta
39. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola Teryaki, Kochinta,
Bihon, Tawilis
40. SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as #39, minura mo lang yung
waiter kasi ang tagal ng order.
NOW, YOU BELIEVE, FILIPINO CUISINE MENUS CAN BE SO
APPETIZING, SERVE WITH SIZZLING LIBIDO... ENJOY YOUR
MEAL, BON APPETITI!!!
Totoo yan! Eto nga yung picture nung lugar . . .
Strictly Green
• Batched Green Jokes # 1
•CREATIVE PINOY MEALS
•Delayed ng Isang Buwan
• Natagpuan Na!
Batch 1
• RAPE SUSPEK
• MADRE
• DOWNY
• HIDE AND SEEK
• LIIT NAMAN
• ANG SULAT
• PROMOTION
• AMPON
• PAMBOBOSO
• ESTUDYANTE
• AFTER THE WEDDING
• PARI AT MADRE
• PAGOD DAW.....
• SUKO SA MISTER
• FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES
• CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL
• TUTPIK
• SI GINO:
• REGALO:
• PINOY INGENUITY?
• IBANG POSISYON
RAPE SUSPEK
ATTY: Inday, pwede mo bang idiskrayb dito sa korte ang taong nangreype sa 'yo?
INDAY: Maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong, at bungal...
SUSPEK: Sige!...mang-asar ka pa!!!!
MADRE
dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre 1: Jusko, patawarin mo po sila...hindi nila nalalaman ang kanilang ginagawa!
Madre2: Ay, yung sa akin marunong!!!!
HIDE AND SEEK
GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. If you find me, papayag akong makipag-sex sa 'yo...
BOY: Eh, kung di kita makita?
GIRL: Nasa likod lang ako ng piano...
DOWNY
GIRL: Ang puti naman ng bird mo...
BOY: Aba, syempre ah! Likas papaya ata gamit ko diyan!
GIRL: Ginagamitan mo rin ba ng Downy?
BOY: Baket? Bango ba?
GIRL: Lambot eh!!!
LIIT NAMAN
Wife: Honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka nang magbra...liit naman dede mo e..
Wife: E ba't ikaw, naka-brief!?
ANG SULAT
Patient: Dok, malungkot dito sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili ko...
Doc: E ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: Di ko pa po alam kasi next wik ko pa ata matatangap...
AMPON
Anak: 'Nay, tinutukso po ako ng kalaro ko na anak ako sa labas!
Nanay: Hindi totoo 'yan, anak. Ang sabihin mo sa kanila, ampon ka!
PROMOTION
Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang humaharap sa korte ko ah!
Swindler: Your Honor, di ko kasalanan kung hindi po kayo ma-promote.
PAMBOBOSO
Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko!
Inay: Bastos 'yun ah! Ano'ng ginawa mo?
Anak: Hinubad ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di nya makita!
AFTER THE WEDDING
Husband: Sinungaling ka, sabi mo virgin ka! Bakit kagabi maluwag na!
Wife: Ulol ka! Dahil lasing ka, katabi mo kagabi si mama!
ESTUDYANTE
Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500, estudiante!
Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa estudiante.
Bugaw: Yung PRINCIPAL, sir!
PARI AT MADRE
Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kukunin ko lang toothbrush ko...
Sister: Sandali, naka-panty lang ako.
Pari: Ok, antay ako.
Sister: Pasok na, wala na akong panty!
PAGOD DAW.....
Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, 'la pa rin.
Mr: Kasi pagod ako.
Mrs: Sige ka, pag ayaw mo, maghahanap ako ng lalaki.
Mr: Sige, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo!
SUKO SA MISTER
Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bago niroromansa...
Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa.
FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES
Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies"?
Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang tatay mo, hangga ngayon, buhay pa ang animal!
CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL
Anak: Itay, ano ang kaibahan ng confident sa confidential?
Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan.
TUTPIK
Kustomer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali pang mabali!
Waiter (inis): Alam nyo, sir, ang dami nang gumamit nyan, pero kayo lang nakabali!
SI GINO:
LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kape ko.
APO: 'lo, Gina po.
LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kutchara.
APO: 'lo, Gina po.
LOLO: Punyeta ka, Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo!
REGALO:
Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo, ah...
Mrs: Oo nga, 7 months na, di pa rin ginagamit.
Mare: Bakit, ano ba regalo mo sa kanya?
Mrs: Memorial Plan.
PINOY INGENUITY?
A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that enlarges a
man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a
magnifiying glass.
IBANG POSISYON
Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?
Wife: Thats a good idea dear!... doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman
ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.
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